recollecters | NPC INBOX 2.0;

Togusa’s entire face lights up when he sees his ‘friend’ again, and Zee gets a chance to see a different side of Togusa. The smile on his face grows huge, and his tone goes higher in dog-talk voice. “Hello again!” He moves over to the couch and holds out a hand to sniff before going in for the behind-the-ears scratch. “You’re such a good boy, I have treats for you later.”

“What is his name? I felt bad not getting to thank him.”

Oh. Right. The non-skritching hand ghosts over Togusa’s side. “I’m better than I have any right to be, thanks to the tech that Retrospec brought in from the other world. Micromachines, perfect for doing delicate surgery without having to cut me open even further.”

His hand drops. “It was- strange. I’ve had the scars from the wound for years now. Then I get shot in a very similar manner to what he did. Through it all, I remembered so much.” His eyes squint a little as if he is peering at something in the distance. “Like I was getting shot, getting surgery, and recovering in the hospital twice at the same time. His experience overlaid on mine.”

“But physically? Up and about again. On orders not to go investigating without body armor.” One side of his mouth pulls up in a sheepish grin.

Oh. My god. Zee's just going to stand here and watch for a moment while the dog's head perks up, a joyous little bark escaping as he sits up upon seeing Togusa. He recognizes him because of course he does, sniffing at the man's hand before more or less shoving his head straight into Togusa's hands.

Zee's alsogoing to be over here trying not to laugh. "Aslan. But I've sort of let you guys call them whatever you want. They respond pretty well." Aslan woofs in agreement and Zee leans against his desk to continue watching.

"I've heard of those. Or, I guess, I read about them in your files but I've never seen them in action. Good to see they really work." He lifts an eyebrow though and he takes that in. "...sometimes the strands that are auto-sorted do that. Mirroring seems to be the easiest way to let memories and stuff sink in. I can't say I disagree about the armor though."

Edited (repetition why.) 2019-02-05 18:37 (UTC)

Togusa likes dogs, and it turns out he doubly likes dogs that helped save his life. So he gives Aslan a vigorous head-rub. “Goood boy, Aslan. Thank you so much for your help. See? I’m okay now.”

He is happy to keep standing by the couch and giving Aslan some attention as they talk. “Just because I think this shouldn’t be this dangerous?” He shakes his head. “I need to stop ignoring that things are getting dangerous enough.”

Aslan helps, just like Togusa’s own dog has a tendency to help with any difficult conversations. He’s calmer than he expected to be when he looks back at Zee. “You said we lost all of Retrospec’s staff. Or their memories. Joanne and Maurice and everybody.”

“But, you said we could get them back.” There is a distinct note of hope in Togusa’s voice. “Did you mean- just them? Retrospec? Or, can we get everybody back? The users that Retrospec has lost track of throughout this trial? Koutarou and Ardyn and-“ falters. “Everyone?”

The tail wags like crazy and Aslan, being the professional guard dog he is, licks Togusa's wrist instead of being useful. Zee's dogs are usually the friendly type for people who are friendly to them.

"While that's an attitude I like to hear, you did just get out of a hospital. I'd say you could stand to ignore them for a tiny bit longer." Togusa's right though. The moment he brings up the other members of the staff, Zee folds his arms over his chest and frowns again.

"They're alright physically, and they seem to remember me? But they don't remember anything about the company or the order of operations. It's strange. They aren't going through the process we are, but their memories have been wiped anyway." His fingers tap on his elbow in thought. "...I'm working on a way to bring everyone back. I've never really made it a secret that I have my own motivations, sir. They just happen to align with your guys'."

Aslan continuing to calm Togusa down is absolutely the most helpful thing he can do. Togusa varies up the pets to keep him interacting and interested. A small laugh. “That tickles.” But makes no move to actually stop him.

Togusa keeps looking down at the dog as he hmms aloud. “That almost sounds like how everyone off the app reacts. They still know you exist, but cant see the truth. Didn’t I hear once that was what Retrospec needed Vanderweele for in the first place? The illusions keeping the regular populace ignorant?” A tilt of his head. “Or was that just a conclusion we jumped to?” It’s hard to tell the difference in the absence of so much information.

“If- we can get them back. Then, how can I help?” Hesitant, but there is a note of hope in his voice. “I’m still not sure if this is really the best for everybody. But they should get the chance to make a choice about these lives we’re seeing. Koutarou. He was so afraid of forgetting. He thought it was worth it. Jury’s still out for me. But my choice doesn’t apply to everybody.”

"It may have been a rumor that spread or it was delivered as fact. I'm still never quite sure what the company's told you guys while I've been in and out." It's frustrating, frankly, and he tries to bite back his annoyance at his employers. "But yeah. Vanderweele's an illusionary master. It's why so many things that happen are amplified and made more annoying or just flat-out worse. A way to de-stablize souls and kick off anyone he doesn't think will be worthy of the project, if I had to guess."

Aslan whines a little at the tone in Zee's voice, but he continues allowing Togusa to pet him even as he sniffs out that bag of treats. "...Mr. Togusa, let me ask you something. What is it that you think I'm doing? Me personally. I would like to make sure we're on the same page before we dive into that topic."

“Should the rest of the city be able to see Retrospec, then? Or, was his work always designed to keep Retrospec hidden?”

Oh my god, okay okay. Togusa gives Aslan reassuring pats as his nose zeroes in on Togusa’s jacket pocket. “One, okay? The others get some, too!” He pulls out the bag and lets Zee see them first. “Really organic, Daisuke goes nuts for these things.” It’s a small twist of jerky. Togusa turns a little away from Aslan as he extracts one and then holds it out.

“Your goals?” Togusa pauses while feeding the dog and thinking over what he knows of Zee. “You’ve been in support of the Retrospec project, even if you are not in support of their methods. My guess as to what that means is you’ve seen something important in the life you’re seeing. Something you want to get back to. I could be very wrong if that isn’t a priority.”

"Nooope." The 'p' pops a little and he rolls his eyes to the ceiling. "It's always been set up that people who aren't a part of the project would be kept on the first layer, and people that were added would move to layer two. We should have realized back then that the layers were maybe more tangible than we thought."

Aslan, who doesn't care for these talks, woofs in agreement to Togusa's deal before busying himself with the jerky and politely taking it from Togusa's hand. Zee can't help but chuckle a little.

"I never really got a choice about supporting the project or not, but the rest is about right. Their methods have been messed up since I remember being just like you guys instead of an employee. But being here meant access to more data and information." He frowns again. "I'm still missing key pieces of who I am, and if I work here long enough maybe I'll remember. And maybe I'll learn how to help balance you guys and let you actually make a choice. It's…even if everything's messed up about how it's happening, they thought they were doing something good by saving you. I can't fault them for that. Can you?"

Togusa points at Zee, "I first thought that when we hit the layer that led us to the four cities and gave us you, actually. Felt like we had caught up to where you were, so we could all talk now. I don't know why I turned away from that idea. I kept expecting more physical locations to show up, but we've gotten so few."

Zee's question is a good one, and Togusa heaves a heavy sigh. "I can't really. I can fault them for so many other things. But not for trying, if they thought this was a real problem."

"So much of what I want to fault Retrospec for, I'm learning is really the fault of these worlds. Why does a world exist where a nine year-old kid needs a tank? Or a kid can summon gods? Or," he waves his hand in a vague up and down gesture, "all of James' bullshit?"

"It's something like that, yeah." It's close enough and he won't correct him because he gets the general idea and that's all that matters to him. "The locations are in a space you guys can't see them. We just didn't know it until recently."

He shifts a little while leaning against his desk. "That's a question more about how the universe works, Mr. Togusa, and while I can probably come up with an answer I'm not sure it'll be satisfactory since it boils down to 'because.' It's why I want to get soul theory right this time to adjust things as they come. You think any of us wanted James to lose an arm or for Rose's eye to get replaced with a flower?"

"Frankly?" Togusa looks at Zee as seriously as he can. "You? No. Retrospec's leadership? Yes. In the absence of any communication from them, it's felt like every injury to us is all a part of the plan, and therefore, exactly what they want. At best it looks like they see it as an acceptable loss."

"This is why it's been so terrible that we've had so little communication from Retrospec. Without them giving anything of their side of the story? The narratives we end up telling each other take over. I'm positive the leadership isn't nearly as callous as we all think they are, but they haven't spoken for themselves. It makes your and Joanne's concern feel like the exception, not the rule."

Another skritch to the pup to calm himself down. "But I'm here and willing to listen because I know that can't be the truth."

"Maybe the old leadership. The company's changed hands a few times since its foundation but the main goal has always been to recreate souls as whole as possible." There's a shrug because...well. He can't entirely refute that either. "If things are developing the way that they "should" be, then it's part of the plan, theoretically.

I don't think the lack of communication's entirely been on purpose though. As far as I know, Jo liked you guys pretty well, and some of the others tried. All of us had to sign some kind of an NDA when we were hired. Theirs just might have been different than mine."

What is the truth, he thinks? He finds himself mulling on that as Aslan chews on his treat and Togusa pays attention to the dog instead.

"...I think I'm not sure what it is I want to say. Or, rather, what needs to be said to make sure this goes as smoothly as possible. Make sense?"

"Old versus new leadership means nothing to us. We keep hearing that, bits and pieces, how there's some new leader, but we've known nothing different. So it just becomes another piece of the blame game."

But Togusa very slowly nods, turning all his attention to Zee. "It does. I won't jump down your throat, I promise. Trying to be better about that." Not always succeeding, but trying.

"I think sometimes no matter what's said it's going to be a blame game because you guys didn't ask for this and neither did I at first. That's all." He takes a breath through his nose, sorting his thoughts carefully before continuing.

"Trying's better than nothing. I guess it's...I don't know what it is you guys really want to know. So. What's the most pressing thing, sir?"

Togusa ponders and absently skritches the dog a few times to get his thoughts in order. Because a few of the first questions that pop up, he knows Zee either doesn't have the answer to, or Togusa already knows Retrospec's party line on. The question hits him all at once, one of the oddities of their situation that he has gotten used to, but shouldn't have.

"If there's a physical aspect to the layers, like you said, almost as if we're gaining physical territory as we remember more. Then what happened to the world outside these cities? We got cut off, and then," Togusa gestures to Zee. "We got access to the four regions and to you. So what happened to everything else?"

"We can't really leave, I can't get a call through to my parents in Japan. I got," he waves a hand, "once or twice, really short. Is that also part of the plan, or is that something that went wrong?"

"...they're still there, in theory. Just on a separate layer. But because of the nature of the project we had to start curbing the desire to head out there and fall out of alignment. It's why you can't leave until you're off the project, and why phone calls didn't work for as long as they did."

There's a short chuckle though. "The regions and I have always been here, Mr. Togusa. You guys just weren't ready to explore them, and I wasn't ready to take on the hiring manager position." He understands the worries though. "It's a little of column A and a little of column B. The idea was to...think of it like a venn diagram. Layer one's in one circle, layer two in another, with a middle ground in-between so you could still talk to people on the first layer. Over time because of what's been happening and Vanderweele's interference that middle section's shrunk. It's why we're stuck until we fix it, and why phone calls are brief and new reports show nothing about what's happening in the regions or anything. It's all a part of the illusion."

Togusa points again. “‘Not ready.’ That’s another phrase that keeps getting a lot of resentment out of the people on the app. Don’t act like we can’t handle the knowledge or responsibility. If you mean something different by that? Then what exactly does everybody mean when they call us not ready?”

"It's not about the knowledge or responsibility." He shakes his head. "It means your souls aren't stable enough for what might happen out there, and we'd rather not actually kill you. Tell me something. Would you have been able to survive beyond the doors without the skills and memories you possess now?"

A sharp frown. “Okay, since we objectively know the answer to that is ‘no.’ Was that all it was about?” His hand is unconsciously going back to his side of his chest.

“And it worked out for Retrospec. Even if some of us didn’t get the most dangerous powers, they knew enough of us would that we’d protect those who didn’t. Some of the unreality has been safe, but not enough.” He glances back at Zee. “And you had to come in to the powers that would protect you from us.” He’ll neglect to mention that Zee wasn’t protected the time he needed it.

There's a lift of both hands, weighing the options a little before he shrugs. "It was mostly about the physical capabilities, yeah, but do you think anybody would really listen if we said that? There's enough of you who're arrogant enough to keep trying anyway." There's another annoyed sort of sigh though.

"This isn't about my powers right now, but you're right. You guys have started working together to protect each other. It was sort of about that, too. Making sure your bonds with each other were strong enough."

"You'd think we would have figured it out when a giant monster ate the sea. But even that wasn't enough." Togusa slumps a little. "And your sample size got pretty lucky with the sociopath count. Only had what? Two? Three? So far?"

He finally lets go of his side and runs that hand over his face. "So far, I've been banking on the idea that because people can be restored to themselves when Retrospec lets them go. That's got to be some kind of proof that we exist separate from the remembered souls. If that's what you're trying to make sure can happen? Then maybe looking into how Retrospec does that is a possible avenue."

"Otherwise, I just want to help how I can. If the only way that the other Togusa's world gets restored is by losing me?" He hesitates. "Well, that's the question I keep coming up to, and I answer it differently every time."

"Well now that depends on what we're qualifying as sociopathic. Some of them got better." It's not quite an amused tone, but he can make some light of it.

"In a way is it really losing you though if the two become one? I'd use the Venn Diagram example again but it's not quite as cut and dry as that. But there is a space where the Togusa that was and the Togusa that is start to become one in the same. The world he came from can be restored, but you don't have to lose your place here, too. If I can, I'd like to find a way to safely manipulate the soul essence you've all regrown to add or remove whatever it is that makes you a hybrid of the people you want and need to be."

It's complicated and he knows that. It's why he falls quiet again. "But the souls are one in the same. I'm sorry to tell you that."

Togusa falls quiet again, looking down. Aslan seems to notice his discomfort and noses him again, earning an absent muzzle pat. His brow slowly tenses up, and relaxes a few times, clearly spending effort in thinking something over.

"It would have been easier before what Vanderweele did."

He knows that's cryptic as hell, so he reaches in to his inner jacket pocket, pulls out the wallet with his detective's badge on it. But he fishes in the back of it. There's an extra piece of paper tucked inside. Just a high-quality photo paper, printed.

"I don't even know if someone other than me can see this."

It is a photo, printed from his cyberbrain output, of Hikari, from when she was here, and Togusa believed he had a daughter. All dressed up for the festival. He offers it over for Zee to see.

"If Togusa doesn't exist in that world, then neither does she." Sad, soft.

He reaches forward and takes the picture from Togusa's hand, glancing at it and taking in what he's seeing. So that's why, huh? Togusa's not the only one who has people he needs to establish their existence. He knows plenty of app users who are worried about people who've gone offline, people that never existed at all.

Still. He holds the photos between two fingers before he sighs to himself.

"...I believe there's a way to recreate people's souls based on the energy your souls exude. It's something I've been doing some research on, but obviously I've been keeping that on lockdown for a reason. I'm sure you understand?"

There is a quick burst of hope, something in his chest, before Togusa very slowly nods in understanding. He was right. From a philosophical standpoint. Now they just need to turn it into a scientific one. He reaches out for the photo back.

"I understand." Tempering his own excitement. "You're not sure if it would work, and a false hope like that could be devastating to a lot of people."

But to Togusa?

"How can I help?" There's more determination than ever in his voice. "Even if it fails, I want to try."

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